Back to it...

February 28, 2011

(sorry ahead of time for all of the spelling and grammar mistakes, I am not going to proof read this)

I went to the Dr. for a follow up appointment in the morning and was told that because I had gained SEVEN pounds in the last week and my blood pressure was sky high I was being put on bed rest. Well, this came as quit stressful information because at work I was not planning on being done for at least another 4-6 weeks. Not to mention, I was sad because I wanted to use my maternity leave while she was here and not just sitting in bed.

So the tears came poring!!! The whole way from the dr. all the way to work, then for at least another hour once I got to work. Then in and out for the whole day. A lot of stress! Which I am sure did not help what was to come.

Well, once the work day was over I headed home. By this time I had a massive headache, migraine maybe. It was very intense so I asked Tommy to give me a blessing which did help a little to calm me down. Tommy's sister and brother in law Allie and Brad were so sweet to bring us pizza for dinner. Mmmm! Well right after dinner I went straight to bed hoping to calm down my head. Thats pretty much the last thing I remember clearly...

The following is an account from things I have been told, mostly by Tommy. My poor husband really had the worst of this whole story.

After going to bed, I woke up and walked out into the living room where Tommy was and proceeded to tell me that I needed to get back into bed. Im not sure what I said to him but I have been told that it did not make any sense. Tommy knowing that this wasnt just my usual weird sleeping habits, called my doctor who told him to keep an eye on me and if anything changed to call him right back. Well, after going back to bed I got back us and went straight to the bathroom being sick... This was not normal for my pregnancy. I really didnt get sick maybe more than twice in the beginning. So Tommy called the doctor who told him to take me right to the hospital.

I remember pulling up to the hospital and walking in the entry. Next thing I remember is a girl trying to put my IV in. I don't remember why it was hard for them but I guess she was the second or third to try. I remember her telling me that it was tuff and she was the best there at doing them. I remember thinking, "that doesnt sound good".

So once they got me all hooked up they decided they wanted to monitor me to make sure that things were stable. I guess. While all of this was going on, Tommy had called my side of the family up in Sacramento to let them know what was going on. As soon as they heard they packed up and where in the car on their way down. Tommy's mom (who lives here in Sand Diego) came on over to the hospital. Thank goodness!!!

Well Tommy's mom got to the hospital at some point. Not a minute too late! Im not sure what led up to this but at some point I started siezing. I dont know how long it went on for but I know that it was pretty long for a siezure. Tommy said that it was the most terrifying thing he has ever seen. All of the sudden things got crazy really quick! There went from being one nurse in my room to a lot of people. The crash cart was brought in, which was really scary for Tommy. He said that in that moment he started thinking horrible thoughts about me and our little baby. Worried that he was about to loose one or both of us.

Once this was over there wasnt any other options but to deliver the baby. So off for c section. I do remember getting my epidural. I dont remember pain, I just remember being really sad, and sitting on the bed with someone holding me up. Next thing I remember is lying in the operating room with Tommy sitting next to me. I remember him looking at me and said "we are going to have our baby!" That made me happy. I remember the green fabric/paper that was up in front of my face.

Somewhere around 2am on March 1, 2011 our sweet little Kennedy Noel Cooper came to our home here on earth.

Tommy said that they were rushing around trying to get everything done as fast as they could. He said that they were about to start cutting right when he came in the room. At some point while the dr. started cutting I started to seize again. Tommy said that my dr. started, in a very stern voice, started ordering the anesthesiologist to "make this stop!" They were able to stop it pretty quickly I guess. Next thing I remember is hearing our sweet little baby girls cry. I am so grateful that I remember this part. It is one of the few happy memories I have from this experience. I remember looking over at Tommy and both of us having tears in our eyes. Then I remember going back to sleep.

The next few days are a huge blur. I remember seeing Kennedy for the first time down in the NICU. She had a tubs all over her and in her. It was very sad. I remember her sweet little voice as she was trying so hard to breath. They estimated that she was about 6 weeks early. She weighed 5 lbs 2oz and was 17 inches long. Every time she tried to take a breath there was a sweet little wheezing noise she made. She needed help breathing for a little while since her lungs where not developed all the way. But I think she was off air assistance after a day or maybe two.

In the NICU each side of the room kinda was a graduation on how much assistance the babies needed. I remember when they moved her to the other side of the room thinking that maybe we would get to take her home soon! Not the case...

Before we were able to take her home she had to be able to eat on her own (without a tube) and she couldnt loose any weight. There was a family there that got to leave about a week after we were there. I remember talking to them and them telling us that they had been there for 3 weeks. I remember thinking, "dang thats a long time. I cant imagine having to do that." Well, I wouldnt need to imagine it because we would live it.

Everyday it was so hard leaving her at the hospital and going home. I remember having to wake up every 3 hours to pump and being so made that I was waking up to a stupid machine instead of my baby. There were many, many, many tears. This im sure didnt help my blood pressure. I still had pretty high blood pressure and had to take my blood pressure twice a day to make sure I was okay. Tommy was really worried about this because he didnt want to see me go through it all over.

I remember having our families visit us in the hospital which was really fun and made the days a little easier. I would wake up every morning and try to get to the hospital as soon as the morning nurse shift change was over which was at 8am. I remember one time I was a little late and when I finally got into the NICU I heard Kennedy crying. This was a big deal to me because every time she would have a crying fit she would loose weight which would move us further away from going home.

She had a lot of really nice nurses helping her. This whole experience has given me a great appreciation for nice nurses. The nurse that we would have each day a big impact on the type of day we had. If we had a nice nurse we would have a good day, if we had a grumpy nurse we would have a not so great day.

One morning the doctor was doing her morning checks. She listened to Kennedy's hear beat, her lungs, and looked at her stats. Then she turned to me and said, "She can go home today." I could not believe it!!! That was probably the longest day out of all of them for me. They have to do a lot tests and a lot of paper work. One test was they left her hooked up to all of her monitors and put her in the car seat for 30 minutes and made sure that none of the alarms went off.

The reminds me. After being in there for 3 weeks all of the alarm noises were deeply imbedded in our minds. I remember going to get food places after bringing Kennedy home and hearing noises very similar to the alarms in the NICU. Every time we would hear them both Tommy and I would quickly look to Kennedy to make sure she was okay. It was kinda funny.

Well, we made it home. By this time we had had some pretty special training in the NICU so we felt like we knew what we were doing. Kinda... I think more then we would have if we had brought her home after the normal 2-3 days.

Once out of the hospital she started growing fast. She went from being in the 8th percentile for weight to being in the 89th percentile. She grew quick, too quick. Now 14 months later, her little personality is blooming. She has brought SO much happiness and love to our little family. Its only been a year but we have all learned so much. I think above all, I have learned patience. Oh, and that I need to stop stressing out about everything :-) Being a mom and a wife makes me so happy. I love that our family is growing and love watching all of us help build and grow together.

This is the day we got to bring her home!

After one very devastating miscarriage and trying to have a baby for 3 long years, we finally found her! I know that our Heavenly Father has had his hand in this whole process. Although things definitely didnt go as WE planned and maybe it hasn't been the most smooth path, we are working our way back and that path looks bright.